Have you ever been subjected to raised eyebrows because you did something that the rest of the herd wasn’t doing? Ever felt like you were a bad person for having a thought which isn’t socially acceptable?
We all come equipped with this unique and complicated machine fixed in our skulls that sometimes does things which the other machines aren’t doing. And that makes us the black sheep of the family.
Not only have most of us been a victim of this, but most of us have also been the proponents of such behaviour. What we need to do, both individually and as a group is be more accepting and less judgemental.
In life, there are no absolutes. What is good for one may be bad for another. What may be okay for you may not be okay for another. Each one of us is different and we react differently to the same situations. It doesn’t make us good or bad, it just makes us different human beings.
Learn to accept people for who they are. You may not like it, you may not want to socialize with them, you may not want to be the best of pals with them, but you must not fall prey to the line of thinking which makes you think of them as the black sheep for being different from you.
And when we all practice this, we will realise how much better it is to live in a place where there is no black and white, just rainbows all around!
Today, we are moving so fast that the importance of small yet powerful gestures is getting lost.
Let me ask you something.
When was the last time you held the hands of a loved one?
When was the last time you felt someone’s fingers across yours and let them just hold on to each other?
When was the last time you just went on a walk with someone?
As part of the today’s youth, I know that we all suffer from this disease called “instant gratification”. We buy cars based on how fast they go from 0 to 100 and we are ready to sell them off the moment a new model hits the market. In all this, we have forgotten what it is like to just let the car cruise on a quiet road with your windows down and the fresh air refreshing your soul!
The same is also true in our relationships. It’s easy to be a conqueror on tinder, but it takes ages to find someone who you can be comfortable with sitting in silence! A night spent with a random person is soon forgotten but an act that touches your core gives warmth to the heart for a long time.
I don’t blame people for forgetting the joys of simple acts. It’s just that life has become very fast now and no one has the time to indulge in such delicacies with a free heart to be able to understand it’s true value. But if one can just walk alongside the beach holding the hands of a loved one and let the atmosphere really sink in, the person will have an experience that invokes such levels of unparalleled emotion and calmness that the rest of the world will seem to have become a shade lighter.
Stop. Take a break. Slow down. And ask your loved one for just one thing and see the magic:
Walk with me?
Most of us mortals are built in a way that the idea of having something excites us more than actually having it. This very idea forms the basis for us to invest our time and energy into something, for us to dream about something, and for us to be able to go above and beyond to achieve it.
However, more often that not, the grass turns out to be not so green and the feeling of excitement fades away soon after we have it in our reach.
The same thing happens in our relationships. Which is why most of us go through a “flowery phase” in the beginning but soon things start to change. It’s not that the person changes but our perception towards them.
While wooing a person, we tend to go overboard to an extent that we actually start liking even the not so good things about the other person. We tend to over emphasise the good in our minds and overlook the bad completely. And we try to portray a scenario where the other person is kept on a high pedestal in our lives.
However, reality strikes as the two people come together and this phase becomes a thing of the past. We are no longer so accepting of the other person’s shortcomings but rather they start pulling us away from from.
While sometimes it is necessary to go that extra mile to get someone to realise how you feel about them, it is always very important to remain grounded and be in touch with reality. Reality about what you are and the reality about what the other person is too.
It is okay to expect a closed person to change in a way that they become comfortable with you, be able to share things with you, talk about their issues with you, and treat you special. But beyond that, one should not chase a person with the expectation of them changing. Don’t get so busy planning the chase that you lose touch with what’s real.
If after considering the good and the bad, one feels the spark then yes they should go out of their way and make the chase an interesting one for both of them!
Be willing to catch the person for who they truly are and make the chase worthwhile.