Most of us mortals are built in a way that the idea of having something excites us more than actually having it. This very idea forms the basis for us to invest our time and energy into something, for us to dream about something, and for us to be able to go above and beyond to achieve it.
However, more often that not, the grass turns out to be not so green and the feeling of excitement fades away soon after we have it in our reach.
The same thing happens in our relationships. Which is why most of us go through a “flowery phase” in the beginning but soon things start to change. It’s not that the person changes but our perception towards them.
While wooing a person, we tend to go overboard to an extent that we actually start liking even the not so good things about the other person. We tend to over emphasise the good in our minds and overlook the bad completely. And we try to portray a scenario where the other person is kept on a high pedestal in our lives.
However, reality strikes as the two people come together and this phase becomes a thing of the past. We are no longer so accepting of the other person’s shortcomings but rather they start pulling us away from from.
While sometimes it is necessary to go that extra mile to get someone to realise how you feel about them, it is always very important to remain grounded and be in touch with reality. Reality about what you are and the reality about what the other person is too.
It is okay to expect a closed person to change in a way that they become comfortable with you, be able to share things with you, talk about their issues with you, and treat you special. But beyond that, one should not chase a person with the expectation of them changing. Don’t get so busy planning the chase that you lose touch with what’s real.
If after considering the good and the bad, one feels the spark then yes they should go out of their way and make the chase an interesting one for both of them!
Be willing to catch the person for who they truly are and make the chase worthwhile.